Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
