I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
