i think i have herpe
just one?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize