just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
