yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
