I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
