About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
