dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
