I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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