I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize