This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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