you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
