Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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