...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I love you. Go after that dick
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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