smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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