I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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