thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
