Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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