wrigley field is MILF paradise
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
