I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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