You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
