He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize