i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
