were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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