If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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