We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
