i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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