You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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