his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Operation Purity has been aborted
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
