I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize