My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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