so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize