he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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