She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
God I need to hump something, right now.
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