plz talk dirty to me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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