what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
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