how can u be prego again
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
