my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
