wat bout pragnant strippers??
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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