im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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