I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
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Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.