I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have post one night stand depression
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
