Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize