there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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