Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.