party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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