didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.