Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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