Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Someone's got a whale tail

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  A thong is hangin out?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  No, a fatty following them

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  (314): Someone's got a whale tail (1-314): A thong is hangin out? (314): No, a fatty following them http://tfl.nu/cyed
  Replies (8) Good night (1187) Bad night (1364)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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  (504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku
  Replies (35) Good night (1136) Bad night (2959)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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  (908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card? http://tfl.nu/jvvm
  Replies (219) Good night (992) Bad night (7077)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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  (908): just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep. http://tfl.nu/seq6
  Replies (14) Good night (5510) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.

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  (678): Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action. http://tfl.nu/m88z
  Replies (26) Good night (5692) Bad night (1857)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

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  (210): I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too http://tfl.nu/8tiw
  Replies (10) Good night (7546) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.

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  (503): we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food. http://tfl.nu/i6sw
  Replies (14) Good night (3980) Bad night (2002)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.

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  (740): I am planning my day around naps and lesbians. http://tfl.nu/iw15
  Replies (6) Good night (3332) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"

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  (847): Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?" http://tfl.nu/xxms
  Replies (5) Good night (2303) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.

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  (804): Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat. http://tfl.nu/9gr0
  Replies (6) Good night (1834) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.

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  (607): Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete. http://tfl.nu/hi8m
  Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.

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  (770): Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed. http://tfl.nu/nhyv
  Replies (2) Good night (1915) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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  (347): I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/c9pc
  Replies (4) Good night (771) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser

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  (425): Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser http://tfl.nu/spc1
  Replies (7) Good night (1113) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?

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  (217): Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter? http://tfl.nu/zu2a
  Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (346)

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