im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.