I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
