It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
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Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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