I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
