This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
