I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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