Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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