God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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