Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
