But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
