69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
