If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I look better un-naked...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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