Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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