this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
