So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
