just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
