i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
